Hell yeah! I know I'm not Shakespeare (Basterd) and I'll never be, doesn't matter as this is a homework everybody had to make I think it will be just great to have your comments!
Love you guys!
P.S Keep thinking in your costume to wear this Occtober 29th!
SONNET I
The sorrow that I dwell I shall explain:
She was a shade in a full of sun day
-Is a plutonian mistress- everyone tell
A blue bird without wings learning to fly
A white house of cards playing to die,
-Is a plutonian mistress- everyone tell
Sudden rash of distress, I couldn’t yell.
Seemed to distend all the worlds in hers
A queen that slaved the voices prisoners
The pressure of a bomb kept in her soul
A lone Ticking-clock all in her reign sole
Hurry my dream, the physicians are here
You could have escaped me but not thee.
Hey hun!
ResponderEliminarI think you have a great sonnet there, but you need to polish it a bit. Check the first quartet and you'll notice a tiny little mistake which you carry one using, the rhyme won't be a problem once you correct it. :)
Now, could you give me some light on the third quartet and in the couplet? Can't quite get the last part. Yet I think you did a good job :)
Oh the Hell! u.u I can't find the mistake hun! u.u, the third quartet is supposed to be an explanation of this mad mistress. She is actually gone coo coo for cocoa puffs! So in the couplet, the mental sanity is talking directly to her and saying she can't escape the doctors. Or something like that... o.o
ResponderEliminar