martes, 6 de octubre de 2009

Orange Smile

Aclaración: este texto está escrito en inglés, porque lo utilicé para una tarea, ahora corregida, y también me dió hueva el traducirla, jeje. Aclaraciones posteriores se darán después de que lo comenten, si las necesitan o las quieren :P

There he was, in the prehispanic ruins with his school group. He had been in that school for two years, and at last they went on a trip that he would really enjoy. The ruins were on top of a cloudy mountain. Everyone there was able to see the amazing view the people from the past had seen every day, until they vanished from history; like all the other civilizations of that time.

The guide was the only problem there: he was too slow to explain things, and too slow when he walked. The boy thought that the guide was funny somehow, especially because he was short. Anyway, the boy ended up hating that short guide; he was taking too long! Besides, they were all exposed to the sun. The heat was unbearable.

He felt someone poke his shoulder, so he turned, but saw everyone paying attention to the guide, worried that the teacher was going to ask about the tour afterwards. So, he turned his attention to the guide again; but he felt the poking again, and he turned round faster thist time. He saw Laura, the beatiful girl with smooth, bright skin and mysterious brown eyes; she was smiling craftily. That stunned him. When the guide started to move again, everyone followed. The boy expected Laura to poke him again, or that she would at least say something, but she didn't. None of them said a thing for the rest of the tour.

When the guide finally finished, the teacher told everyone to explore a bit, but that they needed to be back in the bus soon, because it was about to get dark and they had to go back. The boy wasn't caring much about that, so he started to walk with his small notebook in his hand, he checked what he had written, but it wasn't much: only a few words and a bad drawing. Then, he felt the poking again, this time it was on his back. It was Laura again, with that stunning smile.

He was about to ask her "what is it?", but she quickly took him by his wrist and pulled him towards the tallest building of the ruins. When they were in front of it, she let him go and started to climb. The boy was still surprised by her pulling his wrist, but reacted and saw her climbing. He stopped for a moment and worried if climbing was forbidden, but in the end he didn't care and started to climb too. It wasn't hard to climb, the building was like stairs turned into a wall anyways. He caught up with her on the top, and noticed how the day was ending, because they had the sunset right in front of them.

Calmly, the sun moved towards the horizon, with a soft orange glow. Both of them were just standing there, watching the beauty if the show. Then, he felt Laura's hand getting closer to his, and slowly, both hands met and then ended up holding each other.

4 comentarios:

  1. *yawn* Me da hueva leerlo y comentarlo XD
    ¿y te quejabas de mis prólogos?

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  2. jajajajajajaja Aldo Sama tiene razón... debió haberme dado weba! pero bueno, muh!

    Creo que se nota que es un cuento escolar porque es la descripción de un sólo instante más que de una historia para un cuento corto, pero me pareció divertido. Creo que te describe bien, es como un Freud!

    Hay un dedazo por ahí en un slow* pero en general, aún con mi inglés medio extraño creo que está bien n_n
    Sólo hay una cosa... es como las pelis mexicanas que intentan ser cortos.... por qué fucks se llama Orange Smile? Por el atardecer?

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  3. Yeah, I think the title has to do with the sunset and the bright skin combined with the whole scene...or probably not and I'm just guessing xD
    Well, yeah...it's well written, the are a couple of words that shouldn't be there like 'the people' it could've been correct without 'the' anyway, it's cool... as for the story, i agree with Harlekein, the boy it's way too much like you xD, and i liked the childish romance, reminds me of something similar, but in my case, I'm always the silly boy...anyway, I would've liked to read more dialogues...don't ask why, it's just that i love romance soooo freakin' much.
    good job :)

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  4. Well
    k decirte
    Supongo k Orange xlos colores del atardecer
    smile xla manera peculiar en la k la chica sonreía no?
    Me gustó...soy como Helen y m hubiera gustado un beso dsps d k empuja al chico, pero eso hubiera sido muy predecible... y corny encima de todo...
    hahaha(m proyecté)
    Estoy completamente de acuerdo con todos!
    El chico es un poco(much!) como tú, buena proyección!

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The Odd Survey! ¿Por qué las chicas de las películas (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) Nunca saben que el monstruo está tras ellas?